Listening For Love

There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel, for fear of embarrassing the other person or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words “I love you.” So we try to communicate the idea in other words. We say, “take care” or “Don’t drive too fast” or maybe “be good”. However, really, there are just other ways of saying “I love you”. As you are important to me, I care what happens to you, I do not want you to get hurt. We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing we should say, is the thing we do not say. Yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are drive to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. In addition, many times, the meaning never be communicated at all, and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted. Therefore, we have to listen for love in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often. The manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult, or an abusive word fondly said, carries more affection and love with it than sentiments, which are express insincerely. An impulsive hug says, “I love you” even though the words might be saying something different. Any expression of a person’s concern for another says, “I love you!” Sometimes the expression of clumsy and sometimes being cruel for the love that it contains. However, it is often there, beneath the surface. We say I love you in many ways. With birthday gifts, little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears. Sometimes by impulsiveness, many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who had not listened to the love we have tried to express. The problem in listening for love is that we do not always understands the language of love that the other person is trying to use. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking in his language. A younger brother may miss his old sister’s carefully combed hair and the sister may get angry because she does not see what he is trying to say. He is saying “I love you”. Thus, we have to force ourselves to listen for love. The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other. They hear the word, but they do not listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face. On the other hand, people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry. Simon and Garfunkel wrote that very haunting song “The sound of Silence.” It goes: 

“Ten thousand people, maybe more. 

People talking without speaking,

People hearing with out listening,

People writing songs that voice never shared,

Because no one dared disturb the sound of silence.”

It is terrifying picture of our modern world, a world without communication and without love. We have to listen for love in those around us If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize. We have to listen for love in those around us. If we listen intently, we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize. We have to listen for God’s love as well. Thomas Merton says, “God’s essence is to speak, ours is to listen.” We get all confused and discouraged and think that even God has abandoned us and does not love us anymore, simply because we do not listen closely enough for his love. It is there in people, in circumstances, in situation… If we can only hear it, listen for love and we will find that the world is a very loving place after all.