Why does love exist?

Love is such a diffuse “feeling”, and it can become so intensive, that it must have his “natural” and important reason, maybe in the survival of the human race. What is the primary effect of it, when the strategy of approaching is successful and it allows the lover to reach his target? It is the formation of a new relationship. We could say that love exists with the target of increasing the chance of new sexual contacts and in this way the survival of the human race. On other hand, it is all so easy. Does love exist only to spread our genes? It is unlikely, because love is theoretically not necessary for a sexual relationship. Moreover, love tends to reduce the number of sexual relationship and romance, because it favors a stable love affair. In addition, not all love’s relationships end with a child. 

It is unlikely that the primary function of love is reproduction, even if this can be a secondary possible consequence.

To understand better why love plays an important role in our life, we should consider the world around us. Since the first human being was born, his life was always in danger. So are we. Today we are not under the threat of lions, tigers or an easy flu but we could theoretically dare at anytime. 

Each second of our life could be the last. Terrible is it? Maybe, but it is also normal. That is life. Assurances, rites, exorcism, but maybe also the conviction in God can be attempts by women and men to remove fear against the terrible events, which could happen in each moment. Deaths, accidents, illnesses, fiascos are only examples of things, which are always possible.  On the other hand, there are a lot of events and outcome, which people would reach, like for example social respect, money, happiness and success. However, it can be difficult to achieve these targets. Moral: there are often obstacles between our welfare and us and if our actual situation is good. In all moments, it could be charge and become worse. 

Against all these potential negative problems, we create psychological (unconscious) weapons. Love could be one of these. When two or more people are together that relationship is good, they estimate their resource as more positive. Therefore, if self-esteem is high, their strategies will be more effective. They will be more able to cope with negative events. 

Human beings are not only rational beings. In ourselves, we have also magical thoughts. An example of easy magical thought and behavior is “to touch word!” top exercise a possible bad event.

Probably we attribute to the partner peculiarities and features which are not realistic, we “think” unconsciously he or she has a sort of special magical power, and we experience the positive emotional effects of this attribution without the recognizing our projection. He or she becomes a sort of weapon. With his or her presence, we feel sure, as if nothing could disturb our welfare. Of course, we dislike the idea of losing our “weapon” without him or he feel completely naked, defenseless, powerless, and we are afraid if our partner likes another person. It is a war in order to have our defense. The concurrence of another person is an attack to our need for security and the alarm and apprehension we experience in these cases, is a clue, that we feel threatened.