Words that ruin our Relationship

According to Relationship Help,  "A strong, healthy relationship can be one of the best supports in your life. Good relationships improve all aspects of your life, strengthening your health, your mind, and your connections with others. However, if the relationship isn't working, it can also be a tremendous drain. Relationships are an investment. The more you put in, the more you can get back." A true relationship is when you can tell each other anything and everything. No Secrets and No Lies. The best way to have a good relationship is having a good communication. You can tell everything to your partner, not only the good stuff but also the bad stuff.

Below are words the that can ruin your Relations:

You don’t love me like I love you

Problems can creep in when we start to have thoughts of “do I love him more than he loves me?” All the ways we express our love and how much time and energy we’re putting into the relationship. Then we try to figure out if our lover is giving an equal amount back. We don’t want to love more than they love. We become fearful that if we love them more than they love us, we might be play for a fool.

You must be contented in your feelings. If you love your partner, you don’t need to measure your love with him. It is not important if he loves you less or you love him more. It is just important that you love each other.

If love enters your mind, you should accept everything. And if this words enters your mind it means you don’t really love your partner. Try to examine your feelings maybe your just infatuated. I mean you just love him or her because of the attention that he or she gives you. Or maybe your just lonely and need someone to be with. And if I am right your just infatuated with him. And if I am wrong just try to trust your partner. Don’t doubt for what he or she feels towards you. Because maybe you he or she just don’t want to show you how he or she truly feels about you.  Or maybe he or she just don’t know how to show it to you. No one is perfect when it comes to love. So give him or her chance to show you how he or she felt about you.

I’ll do anything to please my partner

Are you doing things for your lover that you really don’t want to do, but you need to, to keep their love? Hmm… this is so common from girls. But this is wrong, because they doesn’t love you because of what you do but because of who you are. Therefore, if you don’t want to do it, and then don’t do it and he’ll or she’ll understand.

He or she must accept how you feel and how you decide. Of course the same on his or her side too. You must accept his or her decision and feelings.

We don’t have anything in common anymore

You love each other that’s why your together. But you don’t really seem to have much in common anymore. Like they’re into sports and you’re into philosophy and art. But you tell yourself that marriage is a sacrifice. A give and take. You’ve been told you should put aside your own interests to make the relationship work. You have to compromise, right? But when you give up what you love for the sake of the relationship, you end up resenting the person and conclude you don’t have anything in common.

You liked your partner not because everything is common even your idea. Maybe it becomes different because you need to do it. Not every time you’re together. It will come to that your relationship will get bored because everything is common. If you love someone, you must trust how he or she feels about you whether he or she is not with you.

We can’t talk about that

Every time you approach certain subjects, it turns into an argument. In the back of your mind, you decide to avoid that topic in the future because you don’t want to fight. You don’t want the conflict. You believe fighting means the relationship is on the rocky ground or it is a threat to the relationship. You want to stay together, but believe if you might separate. So you become more and more numerous. And as the list of avoided topics grows, it starts to feel like you can’t talk with each other anymore. You feel distant and detached. You start wondering how much longer you can live like this. The silence grows.

If you want your relationship to be fixed you must be honest with each other. You can never keep a secret if you love someone. He or she will understand what will you say. He or she might be angry but still understand it. Because he or she loves you and accept the fact that your not perfect and can made mistakes sometimes. So talk to your partner about your concerns just be careful of the terms you’ll use. Avoid “you always, you never, you make me feel.” Try “when you (behavior), I find myself feeling (your feelings)…”

It would be easier to start over with someone else

Sometime has passed in the relationship and you’ve both built up lies, some big ones but mostly small ones. They’re not blatant lies, but mostly unspoken thoughts and feelings. The intentions behind the lies were to protect yourself and your partner from pain. Now, your problems seem overwhelming and you can’t talk openly and honestly about them because you’ve already established a certain pattern of communication. It seems it would be considerably easier to start with a new partner, where you could be yourself without fear.

Get clear on what you’ve lied about to your partner. He or she will be mad but at least you have said the truth. And your fears will be gone because you said the truth it’s up to him or her what will he or she reacts. Talk to your partner about your concerns of being very honest. Keep the focus on your feelings and not their behavior.

If you loved me you would

Unspoken and un-acknowledged expectations take a large toll in relationships. In having expectations, you’re expecting your partner to be a certain way in order to believe they love and care about you. If you don’t get what you expect, you conclude all kinds of negative things about the relationship that may not be true.

Hmm… You didn’t love someone just to be your bodyguard. So accept that they will not do something that you like. They didn’t do it because they don’t want too. Maybe because it’s bad or your trying to change him or her. Everything has a reason so try to ask why they don’t want to do it. And if they didn’t do it, try to understand because you love him or her. Understand that everyone has different wants, desire, and beliefs about what it means to love. Examine also what expectations you do have, and then openly discuss them with your partner. Find out what theirs are.

Reference:
Smith, Melinda, and Jeanne Segal. "Relationship Help." : Advice for Building Relationships That Are Healthy, Happy and Satisfying. N.p., May 2014. Web. 30 July 2014.