Blind Date Rules of Engagement by Faye Bambalan
It would be nice if people would just meet and fall in love. But these days, life requires a more pro-active stance. With Valentines Day just around the corner and couples all around you, why sit around waiting for the perfect guy when you actually take action? I am talking about going on a blind date.
For some people, doing the blind date circuit is the best way to get over a heartache or to simply announce that they are free and single. Others view it as a way to actually find the one. The more practical among us, also known as freeloaders, see it as a chance for a free meal. What ever your reasons, a blind date is always an experience, even if sometimes its a nightmare.
Now most people would find the idea of going out with a perfect stranger daunting, or appalling. But the mechanics of the game are simple. A few rules are so obvious they could have been taught in high school values class.Not all of them are application or applicable to every situation though.
I went through years of blind dating experience (not all mine) to come up with some pointers:
SETTING UP
Do maintain a wide circle of friends. In most cases, its usually a friend or relative (think titos and titas) who asks if you want to be "set up". The more people you know, the more dates you can have.
In case no one takes the initiative, ask a friend. Try to phrase the request casually though, and do not ask over again. You wouldn't want to be described as desperate, would you?
Do ask about your date, so you'd have an idea what to wear, where to go, what to say and if you should bring money. Some dates are not completely "blind". You may already have seen or met the person. But it wouldn't hurt to fish for more information, like if he broke up recently with someone, so you know what topics to avoid.
THE DATE
Do not run away if your date turns out to be bad-looking. Though making a mental note to decline any more matchmaking offers by your so-called friend, try to smile graciously. For all you know, you could have the most intellectual conversation in years with Aesthetically Deficient. Remember, charity has it's own rewards.
In case your date is someone you wouldn't want to be seen with in public, stay away from places near your house or school. It would not be in the right time to run into your ex and have him look at you with pity or worse, double up in laughter. Suggest out-of-the-way places.
Do you choose a light activity. you are too strangers trying to get to know each other, a stressful enough experience as it is. A candlelight dinner in a five-star hotel is too much for a first date. Suggest something fun, like bowling or mini-golf. If you get bored halfway through the evening, at least you don't have to talk to each other all night.
For conversation topics, the safest bet would be to talk about your common friend, like asking how he or she met the "match-maker". Move on to schools, courses, and even to the La Salle-Ateneo rivalry if you're desperate. Keep the conversation light.
Don't worry if there are awkward moments of silence. After all you've only just met. But do not talk about exes and past relationship. Avoid launching into a description of your ideal boyfriend or worse, ideal husband. Try not to make him your personal shrink by unloading your family problems. And please no slum book questions like, "What are your hobbies?"
Express your opinions and don't just agree with everything he says in an effort to be nice. Don't be afraid to be yourself. But don't bend over backward and try to be someone you're not. IF ever you go out again, it should be because he likes you for who you are, not for who you pretend to be.
A girl once asked for her date's leftovers because she was so hungry. The guy liked her even more for being so unpretentious. Be sure through that in your effort to be as natural as possible, you still observe good manners.
Don't order pizza, pasta, club sandwiches, chicken or anything that messy to eat.
Do act like you're having a good time, even if you'd rather be studying at home. Try to give your full attention to what your date is saying instead of ogling the hunk at the next table. If you must send a text message, do it discreetly.
If despite all your efforts to be polite, you could not spend any more time with your date, it is perfectly alright to decline anymore after-dinner plans by saying that you have a curfew or have to study for a test. Skip the "I've got a headache" excuse.
Some people devise an escape plan in advice by scheduling something after the date, or arranging for someone to pick them up. That way, if the date turns out to be a dud, you have legitimate reason to leave. In the rare chance that you got lucky and your date was fabulous, there would always be a second time.
If you're a girl, don't expect the guy to foot the bill. Always offer to pay half or at least chip in for the tip and parking fees. if you're guy, it is perfectly acceptable to go butch.
WORD OF CAUTION
Even if you completely trust the person who set up the date, do not let your guard down. As much as possible, do not leave your drink unattended. This is not being paranoid, but date rape does happen. Try not to drink to much. Nothing is more embarrassing than getting drink and having a near-stranger almost carry you home.
MORNING AFTER
Try not to complain to the match maker about the date unless something really terrible happened, like your date went to washroom and never came back. It's not always the match maker's fault that you and your date have nothing in common. For all you know, the other person could be complaining about you, too.
If you didn't have a good time but your date wants to see you again, feign sickness, or invent overtime, final exams or family dinners to decline invitations unless you can say point-blank that you're not interested.
Finally, the most important rule of blind dating: Do not expect anything. Don't assume you'll meet Mr. Right. Even if you're pretty sure that you both had a great time, don't count him as a potential boyfriend unless you can confirm that the feeling is mutual. Move on to the next. At the very least, you gained a new friend who might just set you up with the guy or girl of your dreams
For some people, doing the blind date circuit is the best way to get over a heartache or to simply announce that they are free and single. Others view it as a way to actually find the one. The more practical among us, also known as freeloaders, see it as a chance for a free meal. What ever your reasons, a blind date is always an experience, even if sometimes its a nightmare.
Now most people would find the idea of going out with a perfect stranger daunting, or appalling. But the mechanics of the game are simple. A few rules are so obvious they could have been taught in high school values class.Not all of them are application or applicable to every situation though.
I went through years of blind dating experience (not all mine) to come up with some pointers:
SETTING UP
Do maintain a wide circle of friends. In most cases, its usually a friend or relative (think titos and titas) who asks if you want to be "set up". The more people you know, the more dates you can have.
In case no one takes the initiative, ask a friend. Try to phrase the request casually though, and do not ask over again. You wouldn't want to be described as desperate, would you?
Do ask about your date, so you'd have an idea what to wear, where to go, what to say and if you should bring money. Some dates are not completely "blind". You may already have seen or met the person. But it wouldn't hurt to fish for more information, like if he broke up recently with someone, so you know what topics to avoid.
THE DATE
Do not run away if your date turns out to be bad-looking. Though making a mental note to decline any more matchmaking offers by your so-called friend, try to smile graciously. For all you know, you could have the most intellectual conversation in years with Aesthetically Deficient. Remember, charity has it's own rewards.
In case your date is someone you wouldn't want to be seen with in public, stay away from places near your house or school. It would not be in the right time to run into your ex and have him look at you with pity or worse, double up in laughter. Suggest out-of-the-way places.
Do you choose a light activity. you are too strangers trying to get to know each other, a stressful enough experience as it is. A candlelight dinner in a five-star hotel is too much for a first date. Suggest something fun, like bowling or mini-golf. If you get bored halfway through the evening, at least you don't have to talk to each other all night.
For conversation topics, the safest bet would be to talk about your common friend, like asking how he or she met the "match-maker". Move on to schools, courses, and even to the La Salle-Ateneo rivalry if you're desperate. Keep the conversation light.
Don't worry if there are awkward moments of silence. After all you've only just met. But do not talk about exes and past relationship. Avoid launching into a description of your ideal boyfriend or worse, ideal husband. Try not to make him your personal shrink by unloading your family problems. And please no slum book questions like, "What are your hobbies?"
Express your opinions and don't just agree with everything he says in an effort to be nice. Don't be afraid to be yourself. But don't bend over backward and try to be someone you're not. IF ever you go out again, it should be because he likes you for who you are, not for who you pretend to be.
A girl once asked for her date's leftovers because she was so hungry. The guy liked her even more for being so unpretentious. Be sure through that in your effort to be as natural as possible, you still observe good manners.
Don't order pizza, pasta, club sandwiches, chicken or anything that messy to eat.
Do act like you're having a good time, even if you'd rather be studying at home. Try to give your full attention to what your date is saying instead of ogling the hunk at the next table. If you must send a text message, do it discreetly.
If despite all your efforts to be polite, you could not spend any more time with your date, it is perfectly alright to decline anymore after-dinner plans by saying that you have a curfew or have to study for a test. Skip the "I've got a headache" excuse.
Some people devise an escape plan in advice by scheduling something after the date, or arranging for someone to pick them up. That way, if the date turns out to be a dud, you have legitimate reason to leave. In the rare chance that you got lucky and your date was fabulous, there would always be a second time.
If you're a girl, don't expect the guy to foot the bill. Always offer to pay half or at least chip in for the tip and parking fees. if you're guy, it is perfectly acceptable to go butch.
WORD OF CAUTION
Even if you completely trust the person who set up the date, do not let your guard down. As much as possible, do not leave your drink unattended. This is not being paranoid, but date rape does happen. Try not to drink to much. Nothing is more embarrassing than getting drink and having a near-stranger almost carry you home.
MORNING AFTER
Try not to complain to the match maker about the date unless something really terrible happened, like your date went to washroom and never came back. It's not always the match maker's fault that you and your date have nothing in common. For all you know, the other person could be complaining about you, too.
If you didn't have a good time but your date wants to see you again, feign sickness, or invent overtime, final exams or family dinners to decline invitations unless you can say point-blank that you're not interested.
Finally, the most important rule of blind dating: Do not expect anything. Don't assume you'll meet Mr. Right. Even if you're pretty sure that you both had a great time, don't count him as a potential boyfriend unless you can confirm that the feeling is mutual. Move on to the next. At the very least, you gained a new friend who might just set you up with the guy or girl of your dreams
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