The Secret of Courtship

There are three qualities of good courtship -- friendship, compatibility and prayer.

FRIENDSHIP

If we enter into a relationship of course we cannot have someone if we don't pass through a friend relationship. He or she ought to be your friend.

Friendship is important in courtship. Friends bring out the best in each other and that is one of the most important qualities of courtship -- to make my friend a better person. Good friends make each other more alive, more creative, more loving, more happy and more holy.

Friends help each other celebrate life together! The best quality of friendship is that friends talk together. The technical word is that they "communicate" become one together. They become one by sharing thoughts and ideas.

In courtship, you have to be able to talk freely about any subject. You have to be able to talk about what is bothering you or what is worrying you. Communication also means you have to be able to listen. Courtship is not very good if you do not listen to your friend.

Listening, as you know, is not just hearing. It means going beyond the words to understand the feelings and thoughts that are behind the words of the other person. It means putting yourself in your partner's shoulder and looking at things from his or her point of views as well as your own.

COMPATIBILITY

Compatibility means living in harmony with each other. The Latin root of compatibility also means you have to experience things together.

In friendship and in courtship you have to understand each other's moods and emotions. That doesn't mean you have to agree with them, but you do have to understand why he or she is feeling that way or reacting that way. That is why I say love must always be intellectual.

You must help each other understand and handle those moods and emotions in a healthy, positive way. It also means you have to handle the anger you sometimes feel for one another. You do fight once in a while -- that is human nature -- but compatibility and living in harmony means you recover from the fight with in a short time

I tell young people it's important to have a fight with your boyfriend once in a while because then you will know if you are compatible and good friends -- if you recover from the arguments and the fights.

Compatibility also means you have to accept each other's faults. Naging your friend or your partner will only bring you more problems. You also have to share the same values. You don't have to like the same things or have to like the same things or have the same opinion on every subject, but if you don;t share the same basic values you will not be compatible. You will not be good friends. You also have to be able to handle problems together. Are you will to give  or give up things for each others? 

Sacrifice is one of the most important aspects of courtships, friendship, compatibility, and love.

PRAYER

Prayer is one of the essential elements of friendship, compatibility and courtship.

Going to church together is not only the best date of all, it's also a good way to pray together. Praying together is very important. It is really the basis of courtship and love.

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