MARRIAGE: A LONG TERM FRIENDSHIP

“I will never forget the quarrel between my parents when I was in the first grade. I was sitting in my pajamas, listening to them argue---I can’t even remember what it was about. And I remember thinking, “Are Mom and Dad going to get divorce?” Now, this was back in the early 1950s, when divorce was rare; it was hardly even talked about back then.

If I had the fear at that age, what must the average first grader today feel? Kids today are surrounded by divorce….Few things can harden the heart of a child more than the divorce of his or her parents. Your kids need a mom and dad who are committed to each other.” (By Dennis and Barbara Rainey)

Let me share with you a subscriber’s beautiful testimony:

I have had the same fear when I was in grade school. My father was the breadwinner in the family. My mother stays home to take care of all five of us. They often argue because of Daddy’s coming home late. And more often than not, he’s drunk coming from friends get-together parties. He claims it’s part of his job. At one point we were almost in the brink of our Mommy losing her faith on our Daddy. And Daddy, upon realizing what he’s done, had promised our Mommy to make up and tried very, very hard to win our mother’s love back.

To make the long story short, they’re both in their retirement years and very much enjoying each other’s company.

I really don’t understand that dialogue I usually hear from movies about “making our marriage work.” In the first place, I don’t see marriage as a machine or a system that we are assigned to operate and make it “work.” I, personally, don’t use that phrase.

To me marriage is a long term friendship based on long lasting faith, trust, and love. It is an infinite bond that is very, very, very sacred in nature. As the Bible calls it, marriage is a sacred covenant not just between two married couples, but between three persons, God included – first and foremost.

That is why, to me, marriage is not to be taken lightly. Don’t settle down unless you are absolutely sure. The slightest doubt should be settled immediately.

To me, marriage is a commitment to profess a love that is incapable of dying to a lifetime partner. It is a commitment to withstand all trials, tribulations, calamities – all sacrifices that may come to married life. It is a commitment to stand side-by-side learning from each other and being good to each other. It is a never-ending life of loving and courtship. With these ingredients at hand in marriage, the offsprings, the children would always be inspired. The children, while feeling the love from their parents and seeing how their Mommy and Daddy love each other, would someday aspire to be like them. Thus, these every children become good fruits from good trees themselves.

Most people nowadays may look at this set-up as very ideal and hard to imitate. That is just because they have so little faith. Remember Jesus walking on water with Peter trying to reach the Lord? “Men of little faith” is what we become if we could not muster enough courage to overcome theses tests in our lives. That is what Parents are supposed to have as one of their ultimate values – faith in God. Don’t lose hope. Make your kids as your inspiration. Value their happiness. Forget your own happiness for now. For one day after you have raised your kids to be good people, that happiness will come back to you a thousand fold. Be poor for now and suffer a little bit for the sake of your kids. They are your flowers in your garden. When they finally grow up and bloom so beautifully, you will see that your garden of life is so fulfilling. And, its because it was of your own doing. You cared enough. You loved so much. And now, you’re blessed for eternity